Författare: xikano_2

I do not understand how is it that the devil hasn’t made a move yet. The circumstances are ripe for him or her or whatever that christian concoction is, to do so. Devil, where the fuck are you motherfucker? í’rale, (imagine Neo here bending his fingers beckoning Mr Smith to bring it on). The mattter of the fact (does that go like that, who cares, it’s the order that I wanna mess with …) is that christianity is suffering from overpower. This is the culmination of 2005 years of christianity. The jews know it better than we, heck, they invented that wretched cult. So, christianity is suffering a dizzy oh my gosh am drunk with power, give me another cup god damn it (God’s last name ain’t damn it) of that stuff. So evil converging with goodness, heck, separation of powers just lost all its relevant gibbirish babble and blah blah to the nth degree.

With George W. Bush in power the christian agenda, the kind that is united in its hate for other forms of lifebeing and thinking, hellbent in its sureness anything not christian is bound for hell, has come to a peak.

…

Three cultures converge in this bag of flesh. Their languages I have suffered in my flesh. Three peoples ways have I walked upon; three manners and attitudes I have had to adapt to and assimilate, mine eyes have seen the souls of a many folk. Yet I still miss my own, I still remain tijuanense, xicano.

…

I saw this pic over at DDBlase. It is the small gestures that make you gush with pride:

TECHNICAL DETAILS

Issue: Cinco de Mayo
Denomination & Type of Issue : 32-cent Commemorative
Format: Self-adhesive Pane of 20 (one design)
Series: Holiday Celebrations
Issue Date & City: April 16, 1998, San Antonio, TX 78284
Illustrator: Robert Rodriguez, Pasadena, CA

Because I am. No matter what you say.
America is not a government. I am America, América.
I may be illegal, wetback, mojado and all that;
I remain no matter what, un Americano. Un gringo más.
A Xicano.

I subscribe to google alerts. I receive news of la raza whenever the words Chicano, Chicana, Xicano and Xicana blip on the radar of the internet galaxy. So far they have been all American newspapers. That’s one, second, a few have come the way of spanish newspapers since the word chicana i sthe same word for chicane. Kind of reminds one of la Malinche, pocho and hell, those negative connotations haunts us like la Llorona does, it is there wherever three or more mexicans find themselves gathered.

However, the recent newsalerts of lately just crack me up. The 5 de Mayo celebrations that the raza is associated with are viewed from the anglo angle in a rather odd way with caution and warnings as guides of the ever expanding fiesta. This year the headlines bear puritan thinking such as Save Cinco de Mayo from tripping into the gutter, an article that curiously enough warns that we not allow 5 de Mayhem go the way of Saint Patrick’s day.

Others just don’t seem to grasp these Other American citizens and their strange customs: Hundreds celebrated Hispanic heritage during this year’s Cinco De Mayo parade. Hispanic heritage? I suspect that reporter was hungover when he wrote that, and in Bakersfield CA of all places!

Yet what inevitably remains and this has been so since my days in Aztlán and just as almost a part of the narrative that flows around these days, is the explanation of just what 5 de Mayo is. Is it mexican independence day? Is it Budweiser day? Is it Chicano day?

There is this need to explain ourselves to the rest of America, as if the dialogue that occurs across the tabloids, the newspapers, the overall media, was one were there is a need to explain to a higher authority just what the heck is this strange noise being made. There is a need and a demand to explain ourselves to the rest of America not for understanding but to alienate.

We can never be part of it or be accepted as part of America as if what we celebrate lacked an ever essential americanness to it and is therefore alien to the very fabric of the US.

Heck, why can’t we just have a celebration without having the need to explain it away to smithreens? Why can’t there be a day to just be Chicano. Celebrate our americanness in as much as we celebrate el cuatro de julio? You don’t see newspapers articles everywhere asking why is it that chicanos have carne asada and mariachi during the course of that day. Really, more than anything else, more than trying to pervert the holiday with beers let it not turn it into an alien holiday.

It’s a Chicano, Chicana holiday period.

The victories came as Congress, in party-line votes in both chambers, approved a $14 trillion budget resolution for 2006.

Jejeje, pardon me, BUT HOW THE HELL does a nation with that kind of budget still have homeless people and children going hungry?

First world? My ass!

Ok, am slowly but surely regaining my confidence again on this site, what I will most likely do is keep this crap at a mininum, the blogging part, not my writing, jesus, it feels as if I should be writing about other stuff and not the trauma this crappy tech stuff is causing on my badly guilt ridden conciencia. Anyhow’s, thank you all for the great messages and support I’ve received via email or comments. I feel I belong, hug time! So yeah. I fixed the template and perhaps I will be able to move along rather soon, like I said this crappo stuff just left me unwilling to do other thinking besides the aforementioned.

So I will keep just the english blog on its own site. Spanish and Swedish will just have to live it out somewhere else.

It’s crazy I tell you. However am the one to blame for the fine mess am in, el gordo y el flaco comes to mind. The thing is that am a very curious person and I delve into my curiosity like a clavadista in Acapulco, head on. So, hopefully in another few more posts I will get back to the office of Yonder Lies It. I heard Geronimo was peeking at the windows of the virtual premises were we lodge our rants and other stuff. He’s a great one, though a bit too quite for my taste. I think I missed out on the great reception Corky Gonzales received on the hall of Chicano fame en el más allá, though am a tad worried with the passing of so many Chicano leaders over here at this life, we are left leaderless yet in Aztlán heaven there is nothing but celebration.

Every incarnation we have had, pachucos, chicanos, pochos and other manifestations of our gente we have had many great leaders and there is yet for the Xicano manifestation to appear in its carnal version, who will take the Xicano banner?

Right now we are dealing with many issues and the splittering of our ens just keeps expanding to unknown dimensions yeet we remain.

To all my readers thank you for stopping by, as soon as I get my act straight I will come back again with my rantings. Right now I have been going through a bad streak of bad luck, am ”salao which is the worst kind of bad luck” as the narrator says in The Old Man and The Sea.

My site has been bombarded day in and day out with spam which seriously took the fun out of blogging in english. I changed and rechanged and then changed again templates and blog programs to no avail spam just came back all the time.

The current template sucks.

So I am unable to write in english because the surmounting work ahead just isn’t too appealing. I hate erasing spam.

So, I will come back again soon, there’s loads to talk about and God only knows that I would have done something about the Corky Gonzales passing, he so happened to pass away just when my site got taken offline due to bandwidth problems.

So yeah, gracias por todo. I will probably open something else at blogger and just remain there for the rest of my natural writing existence. This whole crap about owning a site just left nothing but a bad flavor in my mouth.

I shall no longer be subjected or fall into that treacherous pit, I am mexican Xicano and I speak english as a primary source of communication. I shall no longer care or worry that my brethen down south or within our culture think I may have gone lost with no return. I was born in no man land’s, it is my natural state. I shall no longer partake in the mourning or loss of this or that culture because I no longer speak spanish. I have matured, I am mexican, I am gringo, I am those two, I am Xicano.

Though I speak english I talk mexican Xican@. If the spanish speaking majority find this as regrettable I find it sad that they would come to that conclusion for I am mexican Xicano though I speaketh the anglosaxonist tongue. Spanish does not have a sole right to the mexican culture, nor do their other dialects. I am an expression of that mexicanness regardless of that ostricism that some practice to obligate, force their view of their ways to people like me. I am Mexican Xicano and I speak english. So weep not that I may have lost this or that caracteristic of my race, celebrate fool! Celebrate for this is the dawn of a new culture, a culture that is yours, mine theirs, american!

To the very contrary as supposed and mourned I preserve, I retain those values, I used to be though of another opinion. I used to feel obligated to preserve, no longer is such thinking the mana of my soul, I now know that I am because I have that which you have said I no longer have, though I ceasesly tried to convince you otherwise, I now know that that thinking is akin to racism, you want to me to be different from you. Though I am not, for I am an extension of that expressión and as such a part of you.

When you say I am lost and that I have lost my culture not only do you denigrate my culture but you also denigrate my familia which has learned to love me for who I am.

The long many metal blades caress
the soggy brittle leaves that layeth
strewn about
that a
sudden October gust
of a now long past nordic wind rearranged;
in their grey and misty morrow litteredness
which greets mine eyes
they become entangled in their thin tin nails

It is still warm,
descended dew
covers the brown dotted yard

the fallen ones are gathered
all those damp leaves
in a sweeping motion

the fresh green grass
uncovers a field of joy
vibrant wet savannah for my receiving eyes

Well I’ve been slacking.

I was forced upon a swath the size of the Congress Library of work to do, and what did I do today? Slack, that’s right ese! so yeah, and my own personal protestant guilt tormentor from Queen Elizabeth’s time is beating the living crap of any shred of self-steem that still manages to eek a wriggle out of me (Cromwell, is that thou?) for being a slacker. It’s a mammoth sentence I know, so don’t get me started buckwheat!

So i’ve been reading loads of chicano literature in spanish. In spanish you might say raising an eyebrow or two, three would make you a freak. So yeah, Peregrinos de Aztlán by Miguel Méndez which is rapidly becoming a must read and taunted along the lines of Juan Rulfo which is to say a lot.

So my line of studies consists on focusing on the institutions and the making of the destitute in the novel.

In both cultures, because the characters revolve around Aztlán, which gives a huge boost to my theory that Aztlán lies south of the border as well, the institutions partake in the making of the destitute, that have no rights. It spells out in the desert, Califas and Tijuana.

The characters, the downtrodden mock the institutions that are supposed to protect them. The characters speak of the hypocrisy that the servants of the law engage in, specially those servants of the law in the United States which see the Chicano as nothing but a nuisance in all their protestant pulchritude. In fact, the Chicano character in the novel who is sentenced to jail by the judge whose story is detailed in french fetichism can not speak to the judge in the same language because he speaks chicano, not english.

There is also a mockery of the law institutions in México whose servants of the Law only serve the money God. They are depicted with even more desdain since at one point there is girl being used and raped and as she asks for help the police only tell her she is going end up in the can if she doesn’t stop the yelling.

The church institution is also made a mock of here because the outstanding citizens that abide by the laws of the christian Lord do not pay attention to the destitute.

The medical establishment is also made fun of here since no poor person can ever receive the same treatment as those destitute souls ans o eah, you get my drift.