Eels

Estoy enamorado. Y los Eels son la perfecta banda para ello.

So am in love. Solo falta que ella lo sepa también.

How do you declare love to a goddess? Ever seen that Scrubs episode were guys are like babies because the women are in charge?

That’s me. This woman is, wow to the nth degree. She doesn’t even know I exist. I prolly don’t even register as a bug in her eye.

She says hi every now and then. Boy, what a freaking ride it is every time I see her. You’d think everything was timed just accordingly, that destiny is playing us a trick, or at the very least me which is more likely, I feel like God’s butt joke when it comes to her. God, why her like, you know?

I see her everywhere. And I still think am not good enough for her.

Just today I thought I saw her. Which is to say more than I usually see her.

I always carry her in me. I really don’t understand that. I question that insistence.

Hard to believe that I don’t want to be in love with her. Really.

Entretengamos la noción de que podrí­a aceptar la idea de que serí­a posible estar con ella y que todo serí­a como yo quisiera que todo terminase, o sea, en un él y en un ella y así­, los dos pues.

Pero dejemonos de fantasias.

Why not abandon the whole fucking idea. Like a monk abandoning the flesh.

You know how everything looks better & indie in NY with a little help from Hollywood?

A eso se le llama un culture crash.

Lo peor de todo es que sé que ella no es ni como me la pinto.

– He gritado tu nombre mil veces, aún así­ ni un pelo te he tocado, a pesar de que guardo una camisa que me hace verme gordo y que le tocó ser parte del único abrazo que he recibido de ti.

*** If I could be that guy instead of me I’d never let you down *** by EELS – That Look You Give That Guy – with Padma Lakshmi

If only the past was a console. What a trip that would be. A joystick to move back and forth in time.

Rearrange stuff.

í  la Great Gatsby: a luxury of affordance of time. Were we can afford to go backwards in time.

Question is if she is moving to me or I am to her.

Or Am I just imagining her as I want her to be?

I guess the only way to break the spell is to talk to her.

Of course I will not.

Is she the girl that is to last a thousand years? Or am I drowning in my own thoughts just so I can get away from her?

Smother hope