Grisáceo

Though I live in the forest somewhere in the just about South of Sweden the sunny days here present a haze of gray that mirrors any good city in a polluted and smog filled city in Asia. Allow us here not to infer more than pollution dear reader.

Too many shadows that dart through the sunlight criss cross the corner of my eyesight. Birds of sorts enjoying what a human eye in these quarters can’t because the grounds have sucked all joy that can be nurtured otherwise. Birds big enough to cover the sun and cast a shadow as they pass and draw my attention to my window in my apartment need to come to mind. Did Luther suckle on this experience that has persisted the years as they pass though new generations fail to understand and fail to connect? For many here behavior is the key to understanding the other yet seldom do they couple the earth beneath their ground to understand the forces that guide behavior. People in general aren’t that happy. Though they will deny otherwise with all their might that they are just happy. This happiness eludes me, I have to admit it here and now. What sort of happiness? One perhaps that I am utterly foreign to and since I can’t deny their description of their reality I am left but to wonder and yet have no other option than to compare with what I might call happiness. There is something about Lutheran villages that always reflect back upon people and their emotional state. They manage their flow of sentiments like a well regulated bank account. Everything needs to check and balance yet it is here they are more bankrupt than anywhere else. You can’t regulate emotions, period.

This is by no means a harsh judgment on the people but a small segment of it from a much larger population that does undergo said ailments. I blame the ground we walk upon, like I said. Is it the magnetic fields? Birds do get her eon time. Do the intense flow of the magic we can’t see affect us in a manner that extracts from us our better well being? I am not referring to physical well being because these  people are some of the most healthier people I have ever met. This despite that a huge part of the population does love to take to alcohol like there is no morrow to have. I am referring to the state of being. Is it the lack of sun that dampers mood? Mood here is dire at its best. No one dares smile, like a rare day with sun, people who smile are looked upon as suspicious as if said person is in some sort of state that is not natural to the area.

Now, it’s not like people aren’t aware of how it is like in these parts of the woods. They know. And their comprehension borders on the condescending. I suppose it is because no one here seems to have manage to find an answer to cure the problem. It is a cure that is needed. It would all seem that here, will is put to its utmost limit hence their comprehension though they will not extend or try to extend a hand to help out the psychological issue. More rather one is sneered in the general that all that one has to do is will it and the problem will disappear. I can buy that in all its cruelty. Though doing it by one’s own will is hard. There are a lot of things here that one must do by itself. This sort of cure tends to alienate more than help because there is a hell of issues a single person can’t muster. Loneliness is an issue not many want to address. I suppose that is why Lutheranism fits in like a glove since it is cultural and near traditional to do away with the weak and old. This old custom in Scandinavia is well and alive. It affects even migrants like me. God knows that if left to my own thoughts I will collapse into an anarchy of ill thought.