It’s funny how I reproach myself for who I am and for how I feel.
I think I can be better but the feelings that prevail over my daily goings aren’t exactly those of a great nature. I suffer from low selfsteem and I constantly batter my good spirits to sadness.
I hate that. I think I ought not to do that but yet I do. Self confidence takes time. Or it is a fleeting sensation that if lived but a few seconds gives one great energies.
There is a great flow of conflicting emotions. And you are the source. Today I beat your aura. Or I think I beat my own aura. These things about chemistry between the sexes and the effects amongst each other are one big mess. Such is the mess I got into. A goo of sorts that misdirected every thought and every feeling about my constitution like scrambled eggs.
You are no longer. Am over thee. If I could only battle my own self with the same determination. You know. Kill the bastard that puts me down as much as I put my own self down as I do. I suppose that is who I am and allow it to be for x reason.
But it is about to change. I promise you.